Bad days aint good...

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These past few days have not treated me well. I have been and is still going through a series of tremendously bad mood days complimented by unwise decisions and unrespectful individuals.


It started with the end of a bad, stressful, dissapointing and frustrating Wednesday at the office. Walaupun it may sound like it's just a small thing to others, it is a big matter to me as I have been deprived of this particular opportunity (and missed other opportunities as well) for the past two years while watching other people enjoying what they do not deserve.


Having no mood to work, I brought back some reading materials home, hoping I could recuperate by then. I had to read some documents for me to prepare a paper, as directed, to which I am so not sure of the content. Knowing me, I would be reading the document letter by letter and digesting the meaning until I could really understand the whole thing for me to formulate my own understanding. By then it was already 11.30 pm and Kakak and Danisy were already asleep. Desperate Housewives pun dah habis.



My mind was so fresh and alert and yet it was already 1.00 am. Dah puas tukar channel nak cari cerita menarik but unfortunately semuanya amat membosankan and yet tak cukup untuk membuatkan Mak Lijah mengantuk. Then I started communicating accross the globe, still hoping I would get bored and sleepy eventually. But nooo...


I finished my paper, finally, at 4.30 am, stil feeling fresh. But by then, I decided that I have to stop my brain from overworking or there'll be a short circuit somewhere, soon. As soon I closed my eyes, I had a dream which I could not remember now and at 5.45 am sharp, I just woke up even before the alarm clock started to scream. And I was still fresh!


The next few days were not any better. Felt like kicking people.


And today just topped it all because Abang broke his promise. He promised that he would be back early at 7.30 pm in return for my consent to allow him to go to his friend's open house. I must have been insane to allow him to spend this evening away from home when he would be sitting for his PMR tomorrow morning.


It is five to ten pm now and he is still not back at home. Every other night, he would have been in his room either playing on his PC or the least, studying (much to my yelling). How can I trust him anymore? I have given my all to see that he would get the best education, the best of his time, and what not just to get worries in return. What kind of a mother am I to allow him enjoy his life?


All the best to you, Abang. I cannot possibly talk to you now without feeling the anger brewing in me, much to my dislike. This is not what I have in my mind on the eve of his PMR. I would have thought it would have been a peaceful, calm eve with words of wisdom to wish him the best. Good luck to you.